Destabilizing Masculinity by Sally Smith

It doesn’t take too much awareness to realize that the world around us is shifting. Whether or not you are actively participating in that change, or if you prefer to look away, we are all here, and thus, we all have our own unique roles to play. Perhaps you are more conscious of your connection to the whole, or perhaps it moves underneath you, implicit and unnoticed. Either way, every individual mirrors the collective. Some of you might feel, on a very overt level, the universality of all thoughts and behaviors ignited by humanity, and within your own being, you understand the suffering. We call these people empaths or intuitives. Connected with their feminine side, they experience compassion by experiencing the whole. It’s not necessarily a fun condition with which to exist, especially right now, but now is not the time for anyone to sit back and take refuge in passivity. It is a time to act, but in a way that is much different than how humanity has acted in the past. There is a web that links all of us together, and now more than ever, we need to uncover that network.

Charged with fury, heat, and vigor, humanity has certainly gotten shit done. We’ve conquered, we’ve dominated, we’ve taken precious resources. We’ve innovated. We’ve explored. We’ve progressed all in the name of ourselves. These propensities have defined human nature for most of our known history, so one might argue that this pattern of evolution and control takes root in our human biology. But, on the other side of the divide, we’re starting to see groups looking past their own agendas in order to service “the other.” The less fortunate. The minorities. Those without voices. Those who have been historically brutalized, opposed, or invisible. We’re starting to see groups looking out for the collective. These are the intuitives, the empaths, the nurturers, the guardians. Perhaps our human biology—our human instinct—is beginning to shift as well.

I see one main difference between these two sides, and before I go any further into this concept—this is not a political divide. It’s a humanitarian divide that, by nature of the macrocosmic mirroring of the microcosm, does reflect our politics. The difference is this: one side is fighting for the ego, and the other side is fighting for the collective.

Quick reminder for those of us that practice spirituality, religion, or some other form of morality and ethics: the core of each and every one of these belief or faith systems preaches undivided love. Perhaps that seems a little woo-woo-hippie-dippie, so let me go a little deeper. In Eastern philosophy, the ego is responsible for the illusion that veils us from seeing the underlying truth behind conscious existence. It is responsible for the forces of greed and hatred. It is individually focused and it draws us away from our true nature of interconnectedness—the other side of the spectrum. We emanate from a singular source that holds within its confines the entirety of existence—the whole of being—and a place where each and every one of us are mutually bound to each other. In the esoteric essence of Truth, we are one another because we are one. This is Spirituality 101, but if you’re unfamiliar with these notions and it still seems a little too hokey, then just remember the Golden Rule. A rule so imperative, so universal, that it is found across all the faiths and philosophies: treat others the way that you would like to be treated. In other words, envision yourself as the person in front of you, recognize your interconnectedness, and act accordingly.

No matter what background or belief system you inherit, I think most readers will be able to identify with at least one concept addressed above. So, here’s where masculinity gets involved. This has nothing to do with the gendered labels of male and female, but rather the innate qualities within each and every one of us that represent our divine masculine and divine feminine. It’s the yin and the yang, where yin represents our inner feminine qualities: sensitive, caring, nurturing, maternal, intuitive, inward-focused, receptive, compassionate. Yang represents our masculine qualities: active, pragmatic, competitive, structured, authoritative, aggressive, outward-focused, persistent, rational, leader. However you identify your orientation, I’m sure you might characterize yourself with adjectives from both categories, and that’s a wonderful thing because our goal is to strike a mediated balance. The masculine represents a more ego-centered consciousness and the feminine represents a more spirit-centered consciousness. We need both. The ego energy, while responsible for the dominions of illusions on planet earth according to Eastern philosophy, is also a force that is uniquely human and therefore, beneath the psychological lens of perception, helps us act rationally in the world.

The key to understanding any phenomena is to remain objective and look at all the evidence to find the threads of common insight. In the spiritual sense, the ego is divisive. It separates the individual from the whole. In the earthly sense, the ego is an invaluable asset that we need as humans to live in a physical realm where duality defines our existence. If you operate only from the spiritual, then you’ll starve to death. If you operate only from the ego, then you’ll never evolve past primalism. So, we work hard to strike a balance.

The new polarity that we need to navigate and deconstruct is that of action and belief. For too long, we’ve allowed both our actions and beliefs to be defined by the masculine. We act out our greed by stripping the earth. We act out our hatred by inciting wars over differences. These are rudimentary examples only, and while I realize the vast complexities of our worldly issues, simplicity helps aid understanding. Real, earthly, and physical action will always be a characteristic of the masculine. We need persistence, structure, and leadership if we want to get anything done. But, we can no longer drive masculine beliefs. Humanity is evolving. We’re shifting in consciousness. Our primal, ego-driven desires got us to where we are now, but it is time to shift to the feminine—the spiritual. Stability strikes when we use our masculine qualities to act out our feminine beliefs.

This is not some call for a socialist society run by hippies and faux-spiritualists. If that were the call to action, then I wouldn’t be practicing my own advice of mediated balance. If spiritualism all comes back to the core idea of undivided love, then we need to approach every issue with goodwill and compassion rather than hatred and greed. That’s simple enough and I believe that those of us that want it, can get there. Acting it out will be much harder, of course. It will take the scientists, the politicians, the businessmen, the activists, the spiritualists, the scholars, the philosophers, the educators, the blue collars, the white collars, the mothers, the fathers, and every person in between to all adapt and realize our universal belief and reverence for compassion. And in our own work, within our own fields, we will continue on—the only difference being that every thought, word, and action, at their root, is backed and motivated by our common belief. There is no longer space for greed and hatred. There is no longer space to solely depend on our masculine identities by finding security in an unbalanced existence. By destabilizing masculinity, we will allow for the feminine to emerge, unobstructed, and drive our compassionate will forward.

Every single person, in their own regard and circumstance, has the potential to make the world a better place. I think many of us genuinely want to do that. But, not everyone will see it that way, and thankfully, it’s not our job to change them. These opponents play a role too. They fuel our drive for good by representing its duality. What we need to do, every day, is recognize and uplift the work of those of us who are fighting for good and realize and respect every person’s unique place in our network.

By starting with compassion alone, the feminine agenda will emerge. We will become more sensitive, more nurturing, and more receptive. We will create the characteristics within our society for real betterment to take place. A type of betterment that is no longer driven by personal desire and ego, but one that acts in service to the whole of being. Allow compassion alone to drive everything you think, say, and do. Do this with a hyper-conscious and hyper-vigilant effort, and change will work fast. Become a vehicle for good—for change—and watch, in your own life, how this change radiates outward. Trust the macrocosmic reflection and the world will strike balance around you. Together, as vehicles for good, we can evolve the planet towards a better place. The world isn’t going to change on its own. We can no longer sit back and hope that the politicians or the scientists get it right. It’s a collective effort, and we’re all here for it. We might as well give it a shot.

Sally Smith is a fresh, young voice offering up thoughts and insights regarding personal development and social activism beneath the realm of spirituality. Her book, Spirituality Will Save the World, is coming out later this year.

Leave a Reply