I was born with original sin.
No amount of holy water on the soft of my head, could
Cleanse the infinite burden of Eve’s one transgression.
From month to month, it flows from within
Seeping out to remind me of the life let go unlived.
The almighty father bestowed unto me, ten
Commandments only the pronoun she must follow.
Thou shall be above all forever subservient to the male gender:
Father, Brother, Uncle, Grandpa – desirous only to a husband.
For he shall hold reign over me: spirit, body, and mind.

Under his eye I am not an individual, but transactional.
There is a price to be paid – my identity. I will one day cease
To be the name of the man who sired me. Becoming
A woman in white is my ultimate destiny. So long as,
I keep the value of me intact through my purity.

The holy Virgin Mary was made to be my teenage deity.
Star spangled, red and green with her Mona Lisa smile. She
Has gazed down me with her heavenly eyes pitying me for the
Physical involvement in the cycle of life. Biologically, I have
Been made unaware of the nuances involving the creation of new life.

I have looked into my mother’s eye: faded milky white, glazed
Empty from her passionless life. I refused to let the bible be
At the center of my orbit. Instead, I choose to be a dead star
Sitting bright in the heavens. Damned for having a mind like mine.
The voice on the other line ordained me as:
No longer a daughter of his divine right!

Cleansed from the grasp of those venomous lies, I found
A church where only a Venus resides.

Candy Navarrete is a native of Riverside, CA, and a recent CSUSB English Literature graduate. Writing has been a great source to voice her anxieties and self-discoveries as she navigates to better understand her place in the world as a non-traditional Mexican and Native American woman in the 21st century. Her work has been published in The Pacific Review Literary Magazine. Her work includes poetry and short stories with a magical realism twist, and you can follow her writing account on Instagram @abandonednative.

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