
MDMA Hangover by Roxanne Noor
Noon in Chinatown on a Sunday
I order shrimp shumai as
groups of tourists talk loudly
their laughter amplifies my solitude
I absently pick up my chopsticks
to have something to fidget with
watch the steam rise from
a clay cup of oolong tea
if melancholy had a fragrance
it would be in the glass bottle
of this moment
my body feels limp, overcooked spaghetti
my mind is a dense fog I get lost in
something rises within my broken chest
and cannot be pressed down to rest
this pain is introspective
my interior is like a room that
has not been aired out
I throw open the window inside
and sit on the floor and look
I was dutifully crawling
ignoring my heart
numbing the thoughts with falsities
and now everything is real
I sit over my dim sum and cry
in the springtime of my tears
I cannot help but feel
a slight pleasure
to suffer so sincerely
from mental torment
to allow the ache so fully
lucid clarity in a week of sleepwalking
I am no longer a closed box of a woman
but shaped and rounded by experience
I weep and I feel
the world can touch me again
Roxanne Noor is a first-generation American currently living naked on an island. Her work can be found in Cathexis Northwest, Nymphs, Sunstroke Magazine, Anti Heroin Chic, Uplift Connect, Nude Studio, Full Potential, and others. Roxanne is involved in the messy brilliance of the human experience while giving space to the wisdom of higher consciousness. Connect with Roxanne here.