This Vessel by Amber Lee Varnado

This weeping simply cannot go on. 

Yet it does. 

Dull knife, soft skin

Sharper knife, tougher shell 


It hurts,

I know I never said it out loud but it hurts

In a new way

Like a scar on a body

I know you don’t see it


This, along with the writing, seem to be the only constants. 

There are other emotions:

Raw ambiguity, painful memories of the past;

I mentioned I was getting better, but I was a liar.

I just wished I was.


I made up a new person to be amidst this storm.

I am going to try it on for size and see how they like it.

Better than me

Far better than what is underneath.


It’s not so much that there’s rain right now, 

But more about the damage ensued by the storm.

This vessel is in terrible condition,

Rotten wood, dirty sails.


Do you keep the boat?

After all that we have been through? Is it worth sailing?

Would it just be okay to dock for a while and reassess?

Would you throw the whole thing away?


It’s not the repairs that are daunting,

’m nervous to be back at Sea

The vast unknown

How far is too far? At what point do you sail back home?


Amber lee Varnado is a writer, and multimedia artist. With an academic background in film, she really enjoys the art of storytelling. She is currently taking some time to focus more on personal projects in the meanwhile. As of last year, she has self published her first E-book, titled ‘Perfect Dichotomy’ available on Apple Books. Amber Lee is located in Los Angeles, California. She hopes to be able to write for TV one day, but continues to write bedroom poetry and put on concerts in the shower in the meantime. If you are interested in keeping up with her her socials are amberleevarnado, on all available platforms.